Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
