I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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