Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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