I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
