I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking