happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
