Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
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It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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