the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
