his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize
