she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
