I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
