well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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