no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
