Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
