Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
