HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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