I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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