And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
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You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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