Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
