the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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