Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
