Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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