im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
