Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
