I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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