Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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