why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
