Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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