Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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