I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
