Apparently you make a good broom.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
