Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
