you traded sex for a burrito?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You made out with two different species that night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
