You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
