look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
