thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
