I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
