alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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