I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
