I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize