i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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