Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
