yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
