You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
