Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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