i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
