Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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