I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
