OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
