well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
