I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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