So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize