It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
