that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
