he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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