He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
