On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
