i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
