True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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