Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
