I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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