It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
