You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
