I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
