uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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