Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
