look no pants
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize